Friday, December 30, 2005

Special Edition: This Week's Dork Moments

  • Delayed Prank
    Last night, I was in the basement making a wreath with grapevine, fragrant eucalyptus, and various dried flowers and seed pods. I was having a lovely time doing the artsy stuff I love, "purposely" burning myself as I held glued stems together, and watching my new Michael Buble concert DVD (that guy is a riot) with Dad and the girls. At once point, I dropped a small stamp onto the floor and it promptly rolled under the couch. I nonchalantly bent over to reach under and pick it up. I felt something smallish and hard, grabbed it, and pulled it out--only to scream and drop it, once I realized I was holding a snake's head. It was fake, but the effect was pretty real. Apparently, at one point Dad had gotten this thing to use as a prank on the kids in the pool at a party Bridge was having. It didn't work too well because a guy who loves snakes was the first to see it, and he was just intrigued before he realized it was fake. However, Bridget saw a mouse in the basement a while ago and someone thought to put the snake under the couch as a mouse deterrent. That's where the clueless collegiate comes in the picture and Tada!-- a very laughable dork moment.
  • Hello? This is Your Wake Up Call
    Last Friday, I was at work and tried to call home about something, only to realize that my phone wouldn't register the call. It kept repeating in some lady's monotone voice something about my number. I really wish that warnings, computer error pop-ups, and phone malfunctioning notifications used normal English. I don't think 95% of the people who look at or hear those little cautionary memos every day understand half of what they're being told. Instead it should say something like, "You computer has a problem. You won't understand the technical lingo, but here's the ' . . . for Dummies' version of how to fix it." Anyways, when Bo saw me that evening, she expressed her chagrin that we were not able to meet up to work out that day. I told her I tried to call her but my phone wouldn't work. Strangely enough, the same happened to her! We both expressed our frustration at being disconnected from our long-distance lifeline on a holiday weekend. Well, Christmas morning we both opened fun new flip-phones. Dork moment. Mom was so pleased that she pulled one over on us--that's hard to do. Thanks Mom! :) WARNING: Kelly now has a camera phone and it will be used. You've officially been warned; now you can't complain that I didn't warn you before taking random pictures.
  • "Gympathy"
    For me, purchasing a month long subscription at a gym is like signing a contract that requires me to perform public acts of humility and mortification on a regular basis for several weeks. But, since this is supposed to be a "repair" (as opposed to a "break"), I figured I'd work on my health too. Anyways, if it's true that "it's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you," than I had better get working on the whole "I'm a health conscious person that likes to be in shape" activation thing. Erin is my dedicated, self-appointed trainer--there to make sure that I don't hurt myself by lifting weights wrong or something and there to ensure that I don't cheat. She rocks. Anyhow, so I walk into the gym, get changed, and first thing we hit the treadmill. I can do treadmills. I like them: they don't let me slow down as long as I resist the urge to press little buttons, they tell me that I'm loosing calories with every few steps I jog, and running is kinda, um, basic. But then Erin has me hit the mats. These are big foam slabs covering a floor in a main hallway thing. We walk to the middle of the mat and I sneak a furtive glance at the guy doing push-ups with his hand on a ball and his feet propped up on another. His arms are as thick as my waist. On our other side is a girl stretching like she's trying out to be a contortionist. So I get down on the mat between Hunk and Slinky and try my best to look like I fit in. Erin has a wonderful confidence in me that helps. Like she believes (or pretends really well) that I can do her whole non-stop 8-minute abs program. My program is punctuated with a few more of those deep breathing breaks that take up about half the time in old-people's exercise videos. Speaking of, it's wonderful to do ten minutes of stair-steppers next to a guy who is going twice as fast and hard and looks like he's twice my dad's age. Refusing to look at Hunk, my 5-12 lbs. weights suit me just fine too. It's almost as snazy as half-drowning in the deep end of the lanes while Erin tries to teach me to float and tread water. I can swim; I just can't stay there in one place. Maybe it added some joy to that lifeguard's afternoon. Anyhow, in case I killed anyone's inspiration to go and work out, I must tell you, it's working. I feel great. I sleep really well at night. And now that I know what I'm doing, I don't feel like a total dork every moment I step into the gym (except for those leg lifts that look like a dog . . . never mind.) And if you've actually sat in a computer chair long enough to read all of this ridiculousness, you should probably go and work out too. That way I won't scare you when I come back all big and buff and ready for the DR or a hike to the top of Signal Knob or a really good game of Ultimate . . . you never know--miracles happen. ; )

A Beautiful Feast Day

I hope you and your families all had a blessed Feast of the Holy Family!

(I love how excited Joseph looks in this painting and how serenely joyful Mary is.)

On this beautiful feast day, I had the privilege to attend my friend Erin's wedding. She looked positively radiant as she walked up the aisle to meet her wonderful (now) husband, John. I'm sure they will be happy together. I love the way he makes her smile, laugh, and talk all the time when he's around. He's really kind and has always made a point to reach out to Erin's friends and chat with us. Congratulations you guys!

It's a little funny watching girls and guys you've known since 5th, 6th, and 7th grade find an incredible counterpart and soul-mate and then get caught up in the tizzy of wedding prep, slow down for two seconds during a beautiful Mass in which they sacramentally bind themselves to each other for the rest of their lives, and then before long they're calling me saying, "Guess what I'm pregnant!" And I remember when they got braces, talked about their ideal guy, and started smacking each other with pillows at a "sleep"-over. . . wow. I'm so glad God's in charge of all of this and not me--He does a beautiful job. :)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My New RA Motto

Ahem, anyways . . .

Today's bits of lunch-break wisdom from under the basket:

Suggestion for the day ~ Everyone should go to the gym every day and get your but kicked--it feels great!

Reminder ~ Pray for the modern slaughter of the holy innocents on this feast of all those little martyrs who died so that their Lord and His parents could escape from harm.

My wish for you ~ That you're enjoying time with friends and family as much as I am.

Shared image ~ The last few days we have had some of the most beautiful sunsets ever. One day, I was driving through the "prettiest part of Hickville" after work and almost stopped the car because I was driving so slowly to not miss a single moment of the last slice of sun as it slipped over the horizon. Behind the silhouetted barns, the clouds were all a deep, soft plum and blushing rose while the horizon was aflame with vibrant oranges and golds. It reminded me of a poem by Emily Dickinson that I always loved as a little girl:

Blazing in Gold and quenching in Purple
Leaping like Leopards to the Sky
Then at the feet of the old Horizon
Laying her spotted Face to die
Stooping as low as the Otter's Window
Touching the Roof and tinting the Barn
Kissing her Bonnet to the Meadow
And the Juggler of Day is gone

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas

I hope you all and your families enjoy a Blessed Christmas. For those of you who actually stay connected to internet and cell phones on Christmas, FYI--my cell died for no apparent reason and I need to get it fixed, but meanwhile you'll have to call my home number or not call at all. ;) I won't be at home tomorrow anyways . . . tell you about it later. God bless! ~ Kel

Thursday, December 22, 2005

When I Get My Dream House . . .

So, many people have elaborate images of their dream house in their minds . . . but have you ever decorated it (mentally) for Christmas? Mine just got lights and a sweet sound system. Ok, so I was inspired . . . This video is done to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Wizards of Winter." It totally rocks--must have sound, bigger the better--enjoy!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dear Secular Santa,

Take this you imposter!

Papa Benedetto rocks! He's brought back the fur-trimmed papal hat, called the "camauro."
Plus, you've got to love the red shoes.

The last pope to don this festal wear was Pope John John XXIII. Few know that the garb St. Nick wears in pop-culture depictions is borrowed and adapted from this sort of traditional wear. Santa's pointed hat is a collapsed bishop's miter; the coat is a shortened robe; the white-fur-lined, red design comes from this totally awesome get-up.

Yay trivia--have a lovely week folks!

Thanks to this blog where I snatched some pictures.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Various and Sundry

My life has fallen into about as much of a "routine" as I get at home. I'm able to get to daily Mass, I'm working at CNS most days, and chilling out in the evening. After a few days vegging out, it's good to be busy again (though not TOO busy; don't get any ideas Mom!).

Currently, I'm in the middle of reading:

Under the Mercy
A book about a couple who enjoyed the "perfect" pagan love, their introduction to and conversion to Christianity through C. S. Lewis (it includes a bunch of his letters to them), and the ways they discovered that Christianity called them to a higher standard of love, service, and understanding.

The Violent Bear it Away by Flannery O'Connor
Looks good so far, but I'm not very far into it. Her imagery is incredibly stark but poignant.

So many books, so little time.

Enjoy your break dears . . .

Sunday, December 18, 2005


Why in the world do people call it a "break?" It ought to be called a "repair." Thus, I hope all you college people or people taking time off from work are enjoying a lovely "repair;" I certainly needed one and have been reveling in the strange elements that usually compose my repairs. Yesterday, I spent time Pleasure Reading--so satisfying! I played guitar and sang praise and worship with Bo and Goober. I got involved in a lengthy tickle & clipping fight. [In my family, clipping people is kinda like kaphoozling people, kinda.] Last night, family dinner with EVERYONE there and then night prayers together was lovely. During Advent, we always sing an Advent song around the candles before we start prayers. Last night, we sang "Lo How a Rose Er Blooming" in harmony. My family has always sung together--music unites us like almost nothing else does. Then, Daddy, Bo, Bridge, and I went down to the cave to chill out and watch a movie. To continue my disconnected timeline, yesterday afternoon, Nora and I talked for forever--life through the perspective of a nine year old is so optimistic, uncomplicated, joyful, wonder-filled, admiring, eager, and faith-filled. I love joining her in her world when I get a chance. We already have big plans to learn how to crochet (Well, she knows how, I want to learn), we'll make gingerbread men together for the whole family to decorate, there are books I want to read together, and of course we'll be singing together a lot. Today we were holding hands and dancing around the room together, laughing and smiling--I think heaven will be a bit like that . . . joy will be so simple there that it won't even occur to us to need or want anything else. Perhaps that's why Christ said that only those who are like little children will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Children love without counting the cost, worrying about rejection or hurt, expecting return, or wondering why they love in the first place. I hope all my children someday have Nora's joyful spontaneity and loving spirit--she's such a gem. :)


As a blog that accepts and welcomes all sorts of viewers...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicitly, best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year- 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

- DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY - (By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

KIDDING--Gosh, whatever happened to the whole "spew the lukewarm out of my mouth" thing? I hope you all have a blessed last week of Advent, as Christ prepares you to receive him in the Incarnation (you know, that moment in time that O'Donnell always talks about where God became man in order to rock this world and call it to be perfect). Christmas doesn't happen every day--treasure this one and celebrate it loudly in very un-politically correct ways. God bless you all, you're often in my thoughts and prayers!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Dear Friends,

It is finals week and I'm slowly having the life drained out of me . . . not to say that my final that I took thus far went badly, my brain is just having one of those lint roller used to many times to let anything else stick moments.

Finals week on a freshmen floor is lovely. I learned the "art" of cake-mix consumption the other day. I've witness plenty of random tickle attacks. The other day, Ted and I were bent over and racing down the hallway pushing a little toy car that Justin gave Ted as a prank gift (we were "taking a ride together"--it made perfect sense at the time). One of my friends walked directly into a wall, twice. I did checks while whistling Christmas carols and skipping. I've lost track of the amount of chocolate and Nutella consumed in my hall. Are you getting the picture yet? Absolutely charming. We should all be locked up in a nut house immanently. And the funniest thing is, for about two hours of each day, we sit down and write incredibly profound scraps of knowledge on a test paper and actually seem to be rational creatures trained to think at a great college. Go figure. We intellectuals do a charming job of deceiving the world, don't we? If they only knew how human we really were . . . perhaps.

Good luck to anyone else who is watching as their sanity sneaks out the back door. I hope he has a nice trip and returns to tell you all about it.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Why I Despise TV Talk Shows

(WARNING: This is a rant...)

The other day, I walked into a room where a make-up masked talk show host was ranting simultaneously with an obscure activist, who strained with everything he had in him to communicate two bits of wisdom to the general public during this, his TV debut. Poor people. Poor people?! Poor me who listened to 3 minutes of it!

I'll never understand what the general American public finds stimulating, intelligent, and informative about those TV "debates." They infuriate and sadden me. Infuriate, because the people can't have a logical discussion about a topic where they reach a conclusion. Conclusions (a more scientific term for the word "truth") are too biased and exclusive for our society. Sadden, because the audience doesn't know any better. They receive information like fast food: quickly and with no thought to the enriching value of what goes into them. The verbal warfare is replete with fallacies and uninformed attacks; video games played by 10 year old boys have more forethought and skill put into them. My dear friends, help me to recover the rhetorical art of disagreement. Let us recapture the style of the Socratic Method and good ol' logic. And in this lofty spirit I will now cease this crudely written rant complete with concluding glittering generalities, much more suited to my foes than to the elevated taste of my friends. "Bye, Bye!"

P.S. I ran a spell check and a box popped up encouraging me: "Replace 'videogames' with 'piousness'?" Not shabby theology for a spell check mode on a computer . . .